Monday, April 19, 2021
Hell – oh! Is it me or the rest of the world? Our father was predictable. He coined many phrases which we now refer to as “dadisms”. While I am speaking please feel free to shout out the ones you know….Sunday afternoons he loved to have “Mother Fletchers Bazta Razta” sauce, Friday nights out East he would perch himself at Bobby Vans and exclaim “it’s a zoo!” while he watched the traffic pour in. Often times Dad would poke you in the back and when you looked at him, he would say “who did that?” or “the devil made me do it”. If someone swam too far off shore in rough waters (and possibly needed a rescue) “what a JABONY! “. Every Labor Day he would serve hot dogs and hamburgers and say “WPA baby “working people of America! Lots of commotion in the house? “its Broadway and 42nd street”! Did you say something incorrectly well then you would expect …”have you lived here long or are you just visiting?”. Mornings didn’t happen without that first cup of “coffeeeeee” and he will tell you that while he was in the Army General Davidson said … “No coffee No War!” Since we were babies and to all his grandkids … “But I loooove you” and when we would reply I love you too, he would answer “ I love you More!” If cousin Bart was over and having a second bowl of ice – cream … “the Great White is in the house!” Tucking you in at night the tickle monster would appear and “buzz bizz buzz” Carol and I would beg him …”come back tickle monster or Daddy Daddy! do the Buzz Bee!” Once I moved to Massachusetts our arrival time out East would be late. He would try to wait up in “his” chair and when we arrived, he would inevitably be sleeping and we would wake him up and hear…. (do motion of stretching and exclaim) “ AAAAHHHHHHAHHH..That’s a yawn” then hop around and say “ooh ooh my back!” as he got up to greet us. In fact, if you ask Oliver later maybe he could do the impression, because he does it very well. As you were departing, he would always tell you to “drive carefully” –several, several times. Especially lately when you encouraged dad to walk or get himself up he would say I’m “strong like bull”, Yet if you barely brushed by him he would belt out,“ouwwew” at the top of his lungs. When you stayed overnight at dads you discovered he was an early riser…By 7:30 am Dad would have gotten the paper and a coffee he could come wake you up with “good afternoon”. Growing up packing for vacations he would be stuffing the bags in the car saying, “you girls packed too many sweaters!” Dad carried everything while Carol and I frolicked behind him and he would say “Im a mule”. If ever he felt ignored or you didn’t take his advice he would say,…” what am I chopped liver” ?
I don’t know if you know this about my Dad, but he had a few” brushes” with fame. For example, even though he never had a conversation with Billy Joel he would refer to him as his friend. He figured they had the long island connection, both Port Washington (Captain Jack’s boat was docked in Port) then Hamptons connection plus he paid for my college and Billy Joel was the commencement speaker so I guess he figured he earned the right. One time Carol was out visiting (pre cell phones) and she and friends went to brunch in Amagansett to their surprise Billy Joel was the only other guest and he ended up playing the piano and singing for them for a few hours – when she got back to Dads and told him he said…”Why didn’t you call me … he’s my friend!” Besides his close friendship with Billy Joel dad almost showed a house to his celebrity crush, Christy Brinkley. Unfortunately for Dad her assistant called and cancelled a few hours before the showing. His most famous celebrity story was when he showed a house to Renee Zellweger twice in the same day - only dad tells this story best but just as he arrived home after a long showing and was about to put his feet up and finally have his lunch and watch the yankee game he got a call to go back for a reshow. My dad said yes but only on 2 conditions.. if she buys the house, could he 1) bring his 2 daughters over to meet her and 2) – would she marry him. He went back to the house got it all set for the showing and when she arrived she got down on one knee took his hand and said – Yes and yes - and proposed - when he said yes she said but Michael you will never know if I’m marrying you for you or for your knowledge of the house or for you …. His reply “Not an issue! I don’t care!” Finally Dad became so famous he even had a breakfast named after him at Poxybogue Diner … it was called the Yada Yada …. Remember I said he was predictable? Well, after ordering the same thing almost every day for a few years- 1 poached egg, 1 slice of toast and a half a banana – his friend Danny (the owner) made it official and put it on the menu, calling it “the yada yada!”
For all that knew him you know he was a spiffy dresser. He had Chadow Brothers on speed dial and owned enough Brooks Brothers clothing to open his own store. He always looked impressive to me. I always thought my father was a big tall man. In fact even though he barely measured to 5”5 to me he was 6’5.. When I was in my late 20’s dad came by work to take me out to lunch… one of my coworkers who was very short, seemed excited to later tell me “ hey lee ann I didn’t know your dad was so short!” I exclaimed “ what ? NO! My dad isn’t short!” mean while l look up and my other coworkers were like … “yeah he is.” Dad was such a connected parent, taking us on vacations, “being the mule” and carrying our skis, fixing any problems that arose that to me I never saw his physical height – he was everything .
One of the reasons I didn’t speak at church was because I inherited my fathers emotional side. I really didn’t know if I could get through a real Eulogy. My dad (and ok me too alittle) tend to be dramatic. For example leading up to my wedding Dad told me “ wait till you hear the speech I have planned for you” “prepare for waterworks in the limo ride to the church” “bring tissues!”. When the time arrived and we settled in the limo he bit his lower lip and tears formed in his eyes and he said “ you look this way and I’ll look that way!” I never did hear the speech but I envision it was all stuff I already knew and that he has told me many times since.
My dad flourished and seemed happiest while out East in the Hamptons. Dad made people feel special when they visited. His house had a certain smell that became so familiar and comforting. Many people that knew him are still telling stories of their trips to his Hampton House where he would welcome his guests with fresh flowers in their bedroom, music playing and something delicious on the grill. The people that knew my Dad are forever thankful for his unwavering generosity, compassion, wit, and his sense of humor.
You may not know it but my kids were pretty young when I got divorced, very shortly after when my kids were only 3,5 & 7 Carol and Andy hosted not only the 4 of us but my parents as well on a trip to Turks and Caicos. All I had to do was get us there. I was pretty nervous traveling w/ the kids alone for the first time…. My flight arrived over 3 hours after Carols family and my parents’ flights. We walked off the plane went through customs and there was Dad, wearing his khakis and a button down, in a 100 degree heat, waiting for us with his arms outstretched just to help us get from the airport to the house. Even though the last 7 weeks of Dad’s life were difficult we were all aware that every day longer that we had w/ Dad was a gift. A few times Dad spoke of Heaven. One time he told me “there will be a mob of people waiting for him” when he arrived. Last Friday night I asked him where the most wonderful place that he has ever been. He answered Heaven. I said no dad I mean a place that you have been to already and he said – I want to go to heaven, Im ready to go to heaven and I know once I get there that it will be my most wonderful place. I asked him who he will see and he said he would see his parents, grandmother and aunts and uncles and all the family that went before him and that they would be waiting at the gates of heaven w/ their arms outstretched. He also said that once he is in heaven, he will be an angel and look out for all his loved ones still here but that when our times came he would be there with his arms outstretched ….
I would like to end there as I settle on that image….. Dad dressed in his Sunday Best – with his arms out stretched…..Thank you Dad – I think I speak for both Carol and I that not a day in our lives has gone by that we didn’t know that we were loved…. “I love you more” “I love you more”
Love Lee Ann
516-627-2000