Obituary of Rosaria "Rosemary" Meli Andersen

Rosemary Andersen (nee Rosaria Frances Meli) passed near midnight, embraced, by her niece and nephew, Donna and Steve Cabble, July 10, 2024 under the tender care of her son Glen. Rose was the fourth of five daughters born to Giuseppe Meli and Rosaria Panarello Meli, 1719 3^rd Ave., New York. Sisters Jean Martorana (Giovanna), Mimi/Mary Cardillo (Stefana Maria), infant Frances, Rosaria and then baby Evelyn Kowalczik.

SAVING GRACE #1 1919, A critical birth, Rose faced death from her very start; was born not able to breathe. The year prior, poor little Frances was subdued with the Spanish Flu, a mere thirty days. Nearing midnight, frantic, not to lose another child, Grandpa raced down to the street looking for help. Aunt Katie and Uncle Mike Cassata were returning in a horse drawn carriage dressed in opera attire with Dr Prividale. Aunt Katie raced to St Francis de Sales Church on 96th and Park to grab a priest while Grandpa led the doctor up six flights. A rubber tube was inserted into her trachea and Grandpa sucked out the mucous. She received both Baptism and Last Rites. The Doctor recorded November 16^th, the Priest, November 17^th. Still having document trouble with two birthdays!

Being the youngest for a while, Rose was the tag-along Tom boy “son” to her Papa until she blossomed into a startling teen beauty.

Rose's exposure to High Society was a cinderella story. At nearly 15, circa July 21, 1933, Rosina wore a white Peau de Soie gown to attend the Grand Gala aboard the Conte Di Savoia in celebration of Italo Balbo's touring America, the world's most modern fastest fleet of stream-lined twin engine/twin body Savoia-Marchetti S 55 X flying boats, (Italian seaplanes). Rose was the guest of her cousin Giovanni Ciccolo, a 21 year old Italian Naval cadet in training aboard the SS Amerigo Vespucci accompanying Italo Balbo's air fleet. To say the least, she was stunning but needed social lessons. She went to open a door and her elder cousin Sally La Rock pulled her back to instruct her to wait for a gentleman to open the door!

Rose graduated from Julia Richmond loving being part of that prestigious all girls High School. She applied to attend Hunter College, Art major as a Cartoonist, but couldn't break the then glass ceiling on that aspiration.

Delighted to work in the earnest example of her older sisters Jean and Mimi;  she trained  as a round robin all department assistant under Mr Jack  Straus' office, Macy*s  Herald Square, 1937 until the early 1940's.

 Macy*s was her wonder-world. She loved  being part of Macy*s! Some of the best legs in the family, Rose would model shoes  as a side kick. The walkway would show from  knees downwards and she'd get to take the shoes she wore home.

Legend has it she'd painfully strut across the walkway in shoes two sizes too small and, then slug stealthily in up to two sizes too large to be able to share the gains with her sisters and cousins!   She was quite a character!

The lingering Depression, Aunt Jean's family, two young kids, little to no work, everyone came to live together; Grandpa was doing okay; two jobs.  The Meli's moved next door to the Andersen's. Rose and  Harry W. Andersen, nine years her senior, became very fond of one another. War breaks out, Rose  went to visit him at the Army Base in Carlisle, PA where he was training to become an Army Ranger; sharp shooter. 

Without her parent's knowledge, under the watchful auspices of her God Mother she ventured off to visit Harry. Unbeknownst to Rose, her Aunt Katie Cassata sneaked a hand-tailored Wedding Dress for Rose; stuffed, hidden into the bottom of her suitcase. Surprise! Yes, they eloped, July 18^th, 1942 months before Dad shipped off to Britain.

Rose moved onward to J C Penney's to join her sister Mimi and aunts and uncles and when Dad returned stateside,  back as a claims adjuster for Moore-McCormack Lines,  they made their  home in Jackson Heights where most her family resided.

SAVING GRACE #2 1948 Gift of Life, Rose, one hot summer day, pregnant with Harry Jr., tried to impress her Danish in-laws by painting a fence at their summer bungalow. Covered in oil paint,  she rushed to clean herself up, prior to in-laws arrival to Bagabo, a log cabin  at Scotts Beach. Instead of using a rag to spot clean, she drew a bath and poured a lot of turpentine into the bath to try to remove the paint. The concoction caused her to develop toxemia and she spent 5-6 weeks in the hospital for unwed mothers, Manhattan,  to sustain her pregnancy. This is like “I Love Lucy” stuff, but this time, serious.

At one point the doctors counseled Dad, Mom's family,  that he may have to make a choice; premature baby or wife. Mom was quite willing to sacrifice her life for her unborn baby. Dad was insistent they of course, make every effort to save both. They couldn't see it any other way; and in those days, the onus was to save all life.

(Glen) When I was a little boy, maybe 6 or 7 years old, Mom told me the story of my older brother Harry's birth. It had to do with her explaining to me why she was so reverent and dedicated to Our Lord.  Mom was a hopeful outer space enthusiast and believed in aliens. SHE TOLD ME there had been a time, when pregnant with little Harry that she guessed she may have been dying as a result of the poisoning. She was baffled, as she found herself floating above her own hospital bed looking down at herself,  her husband, parents and doctors, nurses discussing her status.

She was then drawn to look upward whereby an enclosing  beam of light pulled her towards Heaven where she  encountered Christ. It was lovely and soothing and the pull was strongly felt. She was given the sanction to live her life with her child.  Harry was born premature but as a growing child;  he more than made up for it as a roly-poly plump little boy! 

Mom was forever dedicated to Christ Jesus. Luckily, as she aged and became a bit more unaware, sheltered from today's questionable morals, she experienced the challenge of bringing a new life into this world with all the risks to herself and child, marriage to a loving husband, her family,  and just wouldn't be able to comprehend the fight for DE-productive “rights” being protested today. Little Harry, indeed, was the golden boy of our Panarello branch. It had been 12 years since Rosemarie Martorana was born.

One day, our parents were guests of Dad's Moore Mac boss at a party in Sands Point where they lucked upon a developer selling parcels in the Terrace. $500 down,  100 x100 lot on a dead end street; they built in 1950 and Glen still resides.

Whilst raising a family of two sons, Harry, Jr. and Glen, Rose returned to work when Glen started half day Kindergarten at Sands Point School.  Part time QA traveller for Scotts Lawn Care Products, Rose was a “secret shopper” of sorts to check presentation and product knowledge of vendors all over Long Island. If late, the backyard McCabe neighbors would watch over we kids. A time  when today's proverbial “takes a Village” really existed, (Neighbors) we were in each others' homes, cocktails and conversation, kids were taught their placement and behavior limitations, and, all were involved in  everyone else's house and yard projects constantly.

Moving on to work more locally, Rosemary  was one of the first employees of  Harold Mertz's Publishers Clearing House at his home, customer service,  with many humorous anecdotes of product complaints and misuses. Mid 1960's she became Attendance Officer at Paul D. Schreiber H. S. under the tutelage of Bob Bartels; 19 years. What a team they made! She mothered  students through many doubts and tribulations.  She always had an assistant. Not sure, but I imagined after her retirement the “department” was managed with three employees and two computer programs, ≄ what she did in her head and filing system.

With Dad's 25 year plus employment the Andersen's were fortunate to take luxury cruises at an employee cost. August, 1962, a 24 day cruise to Brasil aboard the SS Argentina (we were naive witnesses to the pending Cuban Missile Crises, passing Russian destroyers at sea,  and the very first Americans to hear a live performance of “A Garota de Ipanema!”).  And then, again, in 1967, a 31 day cruise to Brasil, Uruguay and Argentina aboard sister ship SS Brasil for their 25^th anniversary.  Irreplaceable and unmatchable family experiences when cruising was great fun yet still societal with formality and  elegance. 

Growing up we relished living in Port Washington and going to the Riviera, Sam Shore's Tennis Academy, the Capri, constant fishing with Dad being picked up from the LIRR in his suit.  We having prepared sandwiches, and drinks, a change of clothes  for Dad, and box of sand worms and all the  rods and reels and tackle box would rush to venture out to troll for Strippers by the Eagle and get lucky to come home with one or two before it got too dark to navigate back to the  dock. We,  in the Terrace had the small Sand Pits to play in building forts and having dirt bomb fights. Rose retired in the advent of the birth of her last grandson Ryon to help raise her four grandchildren and adventure  cross country with Dad in their little RV. Retirement was well spent with the world revolving around their grandchildren as they had dreamed.

(Glen) My niece and nephews were given such an initial boost of love and admiration I think when they entered their teens they found themselves wrestling away from all that was free and obvious to pave their own way; absolutely typical discoveries.  As they continued to get older they  may have sensed a bit of a loss of that embrace as life pushes one forward and sometimes the gaps stretch longer than the elderly can keep up with the younger faster paces. This is such a common truth.  Nevertheless, they all got the best foundation from everyone. Rose prayed for her grandchildren to have productive, healthy and lives full of love, regardless, she could participate.

Rose was every girlfriends' best friend, rich and poor alike, a hostess of great family functions, and the universal mother. (Glen) I can't recall and list them all, but there were “special” people in her life that she responded to without fail.

Sisters and Cousins aside these younger ones: most have predeceased her, with her first nephew Sonny Jim (David Martorana being especially connected), more recently, compare Lou Biundo. Those who remain: Lew McCabe ( her third “son” = backyard neighbor),  Steven Cabble ( nephew who she regarded him as her  “guardian angel” who assured her well being for every hospital visit), Cathy McHugh Cassata (ever present with tender loving care). 

As her niece Donna often remarked, Aunt Rose was simply so much fun to be with, always.

Everyone saw her to be reliably content. Mom was  a joyful, good humored universal family member who never knew hate and would shun it about others. Ne'er anyone be able to name an enemy or foe. Rosina had style and wouldn't judge others.  Rosemary engendered pleasant behavior and somehow could draw out the best manners from others.

She was tacitly instilled with her Sicilian heritage; her comportment majestically effusing mutual respect and conduct, without having to reveal her proud background, (married name : Andersen)  as she and her family knew to be just who they were, AMERICANS, first and foremost!

1992 Mom and Dad had a perfect 50^th Anniversary celebration at the Metropolitan in Glen Cove. Over 100 guests, a fourteen piece Swing Band, great presentation and food, but did anyone ever sit down? Dancing! For her 80^th Birthday we engineered a party to take place in Macy*s EatZi's basement restaurant whereby guests were given a merchandizers' tour of Herald Square and a boxed lunch and discount coupons. Concurrently, with the sad illness of cartoonist Charles Shultz, Jean McFadden announced that she selected Rose to  then become his substitute as the 1999 Millennial Grand Marshal of the Macy*s Thanksgiving Day Parade; featuring a new Millennium Snoopy. Short TV interview; what joy, what honor, limousine treatment door to door.

Al Roker revealed her TV birthday celebration; we were transferred into an NBC celebrity bus with Kevin Bacon and other network stars. We  rode in a red 1924 REO wagon.  Employees with placards marching in front announcing Rosie's 80^th  with the crowds yelling Happy Birthday Rose/Rosie hanging off  the lampposts, all down Central Park West and Broadway. And then, bright lights as we approached Macy*s we heard a loud introductory remark by  Katie Couric and Matt Lauer of Rosemary Meli having previously been a Spanish Dancer  in the 1938 parade!

Rose heard them loud and clear! The squeezed shockwaves that went from her hand into mine when they announced her arrival into Herald Square as Rosemary Meli, she was ecstatic, tears flowing,  that people would then know who she was when she worked at Macy*s ! They'll know me!!! The driver and I both teared  as we felt the electricity: Overjoyed with/for her!     Alas, Dad had to stay home.

In the ten years after having lost Dad we hadn't done more than a day trip to see Cherry Blossoms  in DC or a 9 day trip in 2012, (finally, a new Nissan Versa!)  to celebrate her would be 70^th Wedding Anniversary at the Carlisle Army Barracks Chapel  (gone, no more Chapel: foundation of wood rotted out!)  and then onto Lexington, KY  to visit Joyce Richards, an old Port Washington family girlfriend especially of Mom's.

After trying/failing for  11 years to get an original long form copy (reverse negative) of her BirthCertificate from 125 Worth Street, Dept of Health to renew her misplaced expired Pass Port we got help from Sen. Chuck Schumer's office et.al. to finally be able to visit Denmark and Italy, in style, at 94 years old ! (09/2014).

Wheelchair dependent, our brand new high-back reclining wheelchair was tossed into luggage (NorwegianAir!!!)  and broken in two places. We arrived in Copenhagen and she had to walk with cane in one hand nearly what seemed a quarter mile inside the wooden floor airport towards baggage. SHE did it! Carrying purses, coat, a foot peddler and shopping bags. Resentful against Norwegian Air; despite the challenge, we had managed with rentals for the rest of our trip.  

In addition to the highlights of having met sweet cousins at Lake Como, Florence and Rome, our cousins arranged for us to attend outdoor Mass in St. Peter's Square with newly elected Pope Francis 1. Rose wore her granddaughters photo wedding medallion of her four grandchildren and we got fairly close in ADA aisle seating for the Grandparental Mass festivities. We were overwhelmed with the grandeur of the religious achievement, cathartic.  Still don't have a copy of her original Birth Certificate; flawed with two major mistakes.  RosariO instead of Rosaria and therefore listed as MALE! A     Mission impossible.

December 2015 we suffered a house fire due to a water filled clear glass vase magnifier effect; a concentration of sunlight in our Living Room bay window. This upset sealed us into a  semi-permanent  flux of not being able to complete the repairs, resettle the house and continue to strive as the Insurance had first promised, nor be able to entertain anyone.  Weeks after just having turned 96, our AMICA homeowners Insurance Policy initially guaranteed full throttled help, understanding our crippling limitations they would oversee everything.

After a couple of years they began outsourcing claims, pulled away and betrayed our trust  and added unwarranted strife that we just had to cubbyhole.  We beseeched AMICA that we were in survivor mode and were getting less capable of dealing on our own with repairs and such. AMICA “reconsidered” and was  going to “reboot” the claim last summer and then by September they reversed again.   Innumerable non-reimbursed losses yet to be calculated. Our claim was terminated! Threw a pittance at us and more or less said “Good Luck, bye bye!” 

We were blocked out of tens of thousands of dollars and still need repairs!  Life is more important than to submit to the harm to us that struggle would cause to distract me to try to fight back. Couldn't take my mind away from Mom to legally call out  this unprofessionalism. Read their company mission!

CENTENNIAL

In 2019, just before COVID, for Rose's 100dredth we went all out again with 179 guests at the Milleridge Inn with stupendous entertainment and dancing and good eating; I said “we,” because many people were just too generous with their gifting. Cousin Peter  Kramer  awarded us a courtesy discount that helped make it happen. 

Yes, Rosaria has been celebrated, well deserved. Rose and Glen had a lot of mini adventures with Dad and afterwards; just we two for the last twenty years and appreciated EVERY invitation more than anyone!

SAVING GRACE #3. 2020 Summer of 2020 Glen's care for Rose may have slipped a bit by not having her exercise as much as was needed to prevent a serious DVT of her right leg which broke up and travelled to create multiple pulmonary embolisms. Dr Judah Guy and Dr Scott Strumpfler preserved her health. When all others expected it to be "her time," treating us both with utmost sympathy and grace, all St Francis hospital staff were trying to prepare me, given her situation. Nope! Not Happening! With Our Lord's interdiction, we were back home in time for the twins' Baptism! Phew, for the parents and proxy godparents, like nothing had happened to us.
 

In her constant presence, we would learn how to be better persons. Oh, did she love children and babies! Children were a breath of life for her whether her's or someone else's. Whatever was going on; stop! Leaving the adults, Rose was drawn like a magnet to sing to or grab paper and pencils, crayons, and draw with children and she'd become that fairy Godmother right there and then.
 

(Glen) At my age today, I truly believe that in our daily two person family co-dependency that Mom improved me everyday, even when after she could no longer speak much. I tell you, in that Sicilian manner, she had ways to say yes or no with a slight grimace or wink on her face. At times she played me. Dad nicknamed her "Stinky" because the term stinker in those days meant "royal teaser." Dad was "Butch." Such enrichment is now my responsibility to uphold and develop from her ascent in that beam of light that held her and my prenatal brother from long ago.
 

In her privacy, Rose's religiousness was a steadfast component of her existence, regardless of whether she could get we sons, when younger, to accompany her to Mass or not. More recently, we had attended Fir Friday Masses at St Peter of Alcantara and still; 5 PM Masses at Our Lady of Fatima and an occasional Columbus Day Mass, Easter or Christmas Eve with His Eminence Cardinal Dolan at St Patrick's Cathedral, or Easter with Most Rev. Bishop John Barres of St. Agnes Cathedral. These embracing Masses were our faithful mainstays and touchstones. At 103 we were still supporting Christopher Columbus' legacy, and/with Native Nations. You should too!

1988 nephew Sonny Jim, Rose (68) and Glen embarked on an epic family quest to discover ancestral home Sicily. Mezzoiuso (Grandpa), Messina (Nonni) simply magical! Everywhere we went we made our own many hilarious mishaps due to our language deficiencies. We laughed our way across Sicily. Rarely, did I ever experience that frequent a doubled-over series of belly laughs to tears that Sonny and Mom just couldn't hold back. What uncontrollable behavior! Sicily surely knew some Americane were in town!

Mugged? Not Rosina! We were exploring a sun-drenched cul de sac when piggy-backed teenagers on Vespa's came upon the crowd. They targeted Mom seeing her strapped pocketbook and went to grab it. Luckily she had it about her neck and shoulder under arm. Little did they know the large plastic bag she was toting had two Pupi ( Sicilian Marionette puppets made of metal, souvenirs for her grandchildren). She didn't hesitate to whack them and whack them hard as they sped off empty handed. Before Sonny and I could run to her, she had won the day!  Don't mess with Rosaria!

Much later in her life (1991) we were “adopted” into a community family of comfort, culture, and respect; members of the John Micheal Marino #1389  Order Sons and Daughters of Italy for her last thirty years or more, and that warm, joyful camaraderie was fulfilling. Treated with constant respect and tender acknowledgement.  Rose was a more than adequate home maker whereby the role playing of her time had women do pretty much everything and also be a wage earner. Dad was solid in his roles too. Understanding and undeterred by the norm of that time, Rose was an excellent wife, knowing the secret of putting her husband's needs first but not submitting to masculine domination; they were truly equals. 

Rosina was a super good cook, hostess, cleaned,  sewed clothes, curtains and furnishings, constantly listened to music, always-always sang, decorated, managed our happiness,  finances and household, set a wonderful example for those of us to know selflessness, dedication and sacrifice.

Never bought herself anything; a perpetual second hand Rose! Rarely had her hair done. Hand-me-downs from girlfriends was her wardrobe.

Most important to her was the love of her life, Harry W., her sons and grandchildren complemented by all her sisters, cousins; neighbors who became “family”  and friends, her “best.” Our doctors were encouraging with their acclamations of our dedication to one another.  Acquaintances reveled in her singing when she could no longer converse. It was her way to participate, relate and complement. She had a friendly aura that would attract and engage people, strangers,  attuned to her Grace.

As they aged together, her sister Evelyn Kowalczik and her family  were the  daily embrace of our existence where we could participate in  always being family and being connected. We had served a purpose with frequent chores and visits, allowing us to remain functional and outgoing. We had stuff to do and places to go. Boy did Evelyn love and praise her sister Rose and bore witness to her lifelong goodness.

As we shall remember, more of  Rose's  prowess as a genuinely refined lady, her beauty,  her kindness and acceptance of others is still yet to be revealed.

Mom and I were not separated, not one day since Dad passed in 2003. We grew into a kinship of mutual trust and co-dependency in such a way we need not think we needed “time-off” from one another.  If we had chores, or appointments or parties to attend, Glen didn't leave the house without Rose. Never a full day apart, even with Hospital visits, and we liked that dedication. Kept us outgoing and functioning!

We would often try to chair dance in the car or at the kitchen table, holding hands, waving our interlocked fingers to the rhythm whenever music filled the air. When I lifted her up or set her down, if I a put a little sway and  rock tiny dance steps in the mix she'd go crazy with appreciation. She was alive and just the little attempt brought her back to the dancing she loved, she remembered.

When she could no longer say thank you (and she never need have to try) she'd plant a kiss wherever she could find a place on me. She was just so good a soul. I failed to impress others more to see what they were missing; it's not a talent anyone should try to exercise. I couldn't resist showing  her off or contain my pride wherever we went. I showed that picture of her at 21 to everyone I conversed. Two weeks in decline, Mom was preparing herself. Our Lord was Merciful.  Mom summoned her noble Mother's  “wiles”/awareness to silently guide her son to let up fussing so much and ease us both into the coming ascension more peacefully so she could entrust her legacy to the rest of us. I believe she knows my pledges will be fulfilled. I've been fully equipped to be and do better in my own life.

When Rose was a little girl she and her father, Joseph Meli would accompany her Uncle Tony Cinque  from  his 59^th St. Woodside Fruit & Vegetable Market,  trucking into Sands Point to deliver produce to the estates. On occasion, they would stop at the Town Dock where Rose would skip stones into Manhasset Bay. She promised herself that someday, she would live in Port Washington and she made that dream come true! 74 years, not bad!

                                                                                                                                          Rose is survived by her sons Glen, Harry: grandchildren Kristen Mercer (Cody), Tyghe Harry (Chandler), Chad, and Ryon (Brie). Great Grand Children: Taylor, Tyghe Jr., Trinity Rose,  twins Haven and Colten. Lest not forget to include her sisters'  and cousins' families! Friends, who arose to be beloved Cumpari (Sicilian for: as family). Must salute Jamie and David, Linn and Ute, and the Biundo family who got us too!

Please visit Rosemary's Tribute Wall for some photos of some of the special times mentioned in her tribute.